“PLEASURE” is a Dirty Word

Pleasure is a state of mind.  According to “Webster”, it’s a feeling of happiness, enjoyment or satisfaction.  There are so many things in life that bring us pleasure, such as a beautiful sunset, holding hands with someone you love, or an open parking spot at the mall the day before Christmas.  All these things put a smile on our face and make the day just a little bit brighter.

Expressions opposite of Pleasure are words such as discontent, misery, unhappiness, hate, and dullness.   These are descriptions of pain, sadness and worry.  This is not the way I choose to live my life.  I assume others feel the same.  Yet, in our uptight society, I’m finding many people to be afraid of “Pleasure”.

I’ve been helping a friend bring to market a product called PleasurePosition.  It’s simply a massage face cradle that attaches to your bed, creating a spa-like atmosphere at home.  It helps enhance intimacy between a loving couple, which is something that easily disappears after children or many years of marriage.  Without intimacy and romance, a relationship can easily dissolve.  The couple who once could not keep their hands to themselves, now appear as roommates…. The smiles, touches and sweet kisses are now gone.

I invited friends to “like” our Facebook page or “follow” us on Twitter.  The response I got was shocking.  Many people said they couldn’t “like” our page because they were afraid of what others would think.  They didn’t want their friends and family to think they were looking at a naughty website.  Some said the product was pornographic and it would lead to sex.  Ummm….  Yeah.  Isn’t that the point?  It’s meant for couples massage.  And what is so wrong about that?  Is sex really so terrible?  Is it really so bad? It’s something that everybody does. We may as well enjoy it, right?  When did “Pleasure” become a dirty word?

It’s a well known fact that sex sells.  Marketing campaigns have used suggestive slogans for years, yet people still buy their products.  Call me crazy, but I don’t think the following slogans have ever deterred the “wholesome” consumer from making a purchase.

“I ate the bone” – KFC
“Is it in you?” – Gatorade
“You got chocolate in my peanut butter” – Reeses’s
“Our most important package is yours” – UPS
“Just do it” – Nike
“Reach out and touch someone” – Bell
“Can I come inside you?” – Pepsi

It tastes better than what?

It tastes better than what?

Does this picture come with my camera?

Does this picture come with my camera?

Would you like a banana with your Viagra?

Would you like a banana with your Viagra?

No comment!

No comment!

PleasurePosition is not pornographic.  It doesn’t degrade women or men.  It doesn’t hurt anyone.  It’s simply a massage table.  That’s it.  Have some fun.  Lighten up and enjoy life.  You’ve only got one life to live and you may as well make it PLEASURABLE.

http://www.pleasureposition.com

It is Love….

I wasn’t born to be ordinary.
I wasn’t born to be the same as you.
Embrace my differences.
Bask in the ray of light shining upon me.
Many different colors make up the rainbow.
And those colors are beautiful.
They may have a unique shade,
Which is different from what YOUR eyes may see.
But the core will always be the same.
For it is Love.
Hold onto that love.
Hold onto the pure spirit that resides within each one of us.
It is pure.
It is simple.
It is me.    

                                               

 

Conversations While Meditating

Polor expressI’ve been under a great deal of stress and anxiety over the past few months (or should I say years). To sum it up, I had a baby in 2009. Divorced my husband in 2010. Changed jobs in 2011. Purchased a house in 2012. Got fired in 2013. I guess you could say that’s a lot of change. On top of that, I have no family nearby. My closest relative is 3000 miles away. Hey…. I’ve got an excuse, right?

I realized I was losing my mind, and sought the help of both a life coach and therapist. They were amazing resources to have through this life changing journey. My homework, as always, to relax and clear my mind….. Yoga and Meditation.

I understand the concept of yoga. You do some poses, increase your flexibility and improve your overall health. But how was that supposed to make me relax? Before having a baby, I did Bikram yoga a few times a week. It was certainly a workout, but I never felt relaxed after class. I mean, you’re in a room, heated to 104 degrees for 90 minutes, holding poses for 60 seconds and sweating profusely. Heck, I never sweat that much in my life. The class was always crowded, which meant the person next to you was literally 6 inches away, and hat person was sweating too. The whole time, I’m hoping I don’t pass out or vomit.

The instructors are pretty strict. You only get designated water breaks, and God forbid should you wipe a drop of sweat from your eye. . “DON’T MOVE. CONCENTRATE ON YOURSELF. DON’T LOOK AROUND. REMEMBER TO BREATHE”. Yeah, right. How am I supposed to do that when the person to my right is bent like a pretzel, the person to my left ate a plate of garlic the night before while someone in front of me keeps farting. Who can breathe in a room like this…. let alone relax? I sure can’t.

I decided to try meditation. My therapist said to sit still and empty my mind. If thoughts or images come into my head, don’t analyze them. Dismiss and let go. Sounds pretty simple, right? First off, I have ADD. Try telling someone with ADD to sit still and not think. It doesn’t work. I don’t know how to sit still. That’s what brought me into therapy in the first place. My mind doesn’t stop. This can be a benefit at times, especially when I want to be creative, but it can also be very distracting. In the span of 5 minutes, I had about 20 conversations with myself. It went something like this:

“What am I going to make for dinner? Did I pay the mortgage? My boobs hurt. I think I’m getting my period. My eyebrows really need to be waxed. I wonder if I can get an appointment. Am I supposed to pick up my daughter from Preschool? Crap… What day is it? I think I smell a little. Did I put deodorant on today? Why am I trying to meditate? This is stupid. Oh yeah…. I’m trying to relax. OK now…. Concentrate. Maybe I should think of my chakras. What are chakras? Do I even have them? Perhaps I can focus on my 3rd eye and look for my spirit guide. Hello Spirit Guide… Where are you? Are you there? I can’t see a thing. Maybe I should light a candle. Maybe I should play music next time. Is 5 minutes up yet? This is taking too long. My hair needs to be colored. When will I have time to do it? I should probably call a plumber to fix my shower. Don’t forget to call the plumber when you’re finished.”

Just so you know… I forgot!

Obviously, meditation wasn’t helping. It was only stressing me out even more. Someone suggested to try Core Power Yoga. The class is only 60 minutes, the room is heated, but not too much, and they play music. Perfect! So, I bought a Groupon, tried a few classes and found out I really like it. The teacher had us meditate at the end of class yesterday. (Oh no…. Here we go again.) But this time, I decided to repeat a mantra. (Hey, it was only 2 minutes of meditation. I could do this.) I spoke to my father, who had passed away about 8 years ago from cancer. I said to myself, “Dad, I know that you look over me and protect me. Please show me a sign you are there”. I said this to myself over and over until the 2 minutes were up. Then I forgot about it.

This morning, my daughter wanted me to read her a book before preschool. She was watching a cartoon, so I turned it off to get her full attention. The book she chose was “The Polar Express”. If you haven’t read this book, it’s about a little boy who takes a train to the North Pole to see Santa. He is awarded the first gift of Christmas and chooses a bell off Santa’s sleigh. On Christmas morning, he rings the bell. It makes a beautiful sound, but can only be heard by the children. His parents cannot hear a thing and think it’s broken. The last page of the book reads like this…

“At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I’ve grown old, the bell still rings for me as it does for all who truly believe.”

After we finished reading the book, I grabbed my daughter’s lunch box and started ushering her to the car. We were going to be late if we didn’t hurry up. All of a sudden, the TV turned back on by itself. The cartoon was still playing and it brought a big smile to my daughter’s face. I guess my Dad was listening after all.

The Number 13

“Ancient Egyptians were told life was a quest for spiritual ascension which unfolded in stages, twelve in this life and a thirteenth beyond, thought to be the eternal afterlife. The number 13 therefore symbolized death, not in terms of dust and decay but as a glorious and desirable transformation.” (David Emery, About.com Guide)

I can personally relate to the Egyptians. You see, I was recently let go from my job. I wish I could say I was laid off, but truth be told, I was fired. The date….. Friday Sept. 13th. It’s enough humiliation to be fired, but on Friday the 13th? Really? This has got to have some certain meaning. After reading the quote above (1st paragraph), I now know why.

I was employed by a medical device company. We sold products that treat stroke and brain aneurysms. I was essentially on­call 24/7. I would drop things at a moment’s notice just to appease my customers. The products I sold could save a patient’s life, so I felt I had justification. Truth be told, I put the needs of my company and customers in front of the needs of myself, my family and friends. I sacrificed nights, weekends, and holidays. I found it impossible to plan anything for fear of having to rush off to a hospital. I was constantly checking my phone, hoping I wasn’t missing any calls. When I did get a message, I found the need to respond immediately. I hired babysitters to help me and thought I had it all under control. Yeah right!

The last 9 months on the job caused me more anxiety than my divorce. I was trying to please someone who could never be pleased. According to this person, I had the inability to sell. I didn’t know how to communicate. I put my customers on the defensive. I knew this wasn’t true, but after awhile I started to believe it myself. Luckily, one of my doctors noticed I was troubled and suggested I talk to a life coach. I’m so glad I did, because this coach was with me every step of the way. I could have easily gotten lost or severely depressed, but I was soon able to look at myself from a different perspective. I was able to work on my emotions from the inside out and discover the kind and compassionate human being I really am. He told me to stop trying to be perfect. No one is perfect, and lets face it…. Perfection is boring!

A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders the day I was terminated. I was finally able to breathe. I was finally able to smile. I felt good. Several people reached out to me. Many customers and friends called me on the phone. I received texts and emails. All offered support and praised the work I did. They were all sorry to see me go. Out of this came many written letters of recommendation. I always thought I did a good job but now I had the proof. I let one man crawl under my skin and bring me down. Thankfully, I had a lot of support to pull me back up.

Yes, I am alive!

So, what have I been doing in the past few weeks? Well, I’m finally

Spending some quality time with my daughter, Hailey.

Spending some quality time with my daughter, Hailey.

taking time to enjoy the world around me. I’m taking a few extra minutes to look at the color of the sky and the people around me. I’ve become much more patient with myself and with my daughter. I’ve always enjoyed my daughter, but now I am really enjoying her. One Sunday, I was trying to figure out somewhere to go. It was a beautiful day, and I wanted to be outside. My daughter had other plans. She wanted to build something with playdough and she wanted my help. Normally, I would have sat with her for 10 minutes and made an excuse to do something else. But not that day. We played for 3 hours straight, and I loved every minute of it.

This experience has taught me to appreciate the things that are really important in life. When I’m gone, no one will remember me for the great sales rep I was. But I will be remembered as a loving Mother who treated others with kindness, compassion and respect.

Yes indeed…. This is a much needed glorious and desirable transformation.

Thank you for setting me free.

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